Tuesday, 14 July 2015

Crazy by Amy Reed


Amy Reed
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Synopsis from Goodreads-

He's falling in love and she's falling over the edge of sanity. From the author of Beautiful and Clean, a heartwrenching exploration of a romance marred by mental illness.

Connor knows that Izzy will never fall in love with him the way he's fallen for her. But somehow he's been let into her crazy, exhilarating world and become her closest confidante. But the closer they get, the more Connor realizes that Izzy's highs are too high and her lows are too low. And the frenetic energy that makes her shine is starting to push her into a much darker place.

As Izzy's behavior gets increasingly erratic and self-destructive, Connor gets increasingly desperate to stop her from plummeting. He knows he can't save her from her pain...but what if no one else can?  

Crazy is a fast paced, beautiful, exhilarating ride.
I started bawling three quarters through- this story definitely touched me.
It felt painfully real, and  I couldn't keep my eyes off the pages. I was stuck in the story, though it did take 50 pages to get into it- possibly due to the style of writing.
I read most of it in 5 hours- it's a very quick book- and I was hooked the whole time.
The characters, the way they wrote- it felt so realistic. They swore, they had outbursts, they got angry- because they're human. Amy Reed did an incredible job of making these characters alive. There were so many pages I folded the corners down on, because really, the writing was just PERFECT.  After finishing it,  I went back and reread so many bits just to feel that incredible rush I got reading it. It's hard for me to express the way this book made me feel, really. Reading Isobel's downfall was eerie- not about it, I was reading it, I was feeling what she felt, her helplessness, and also Connor's. It's so hard to read Isobel's denial of being unwell in some parts.

It was disturbing, and dark, but still so beautiful. Reading it was a painful experience at times. It got dark, hopeless and depressing, and bits where Isobel was a bit too cheerful were equally as hard to read as her angry, or hopeless ones. Like the ones she sent when Connor and his friend Jeremy were on a college trip- she reached a horrible low then, but it was just as hard when she was too high.
And Connor was there, loving her, trying to help but being constantly pushed away by Isobel.
This book isn't perfect, exactly, but that's what makes it perfect to me. Isobel and Connor mess up, hurt each other and themselves, and again, that's why this book is so real to me.
The thing is, I felt along with Connor and Isobel- pain, rejection, excitement, hopelessness...I felt it all with them, and I am so glad I did read this book. Possibly the best example of bipolar disorder in teens given in YA fiction.
Now, the ending. I loved the ending, as it ended nice and abruptly- usually  I hate that sort of ending in a book, but it worked perfectly for Crazy.
I pondered a film for Crazy, and then realised that the emotion just couldn't be explored like it was in the book. It can only be experienced by written word. And that is precisely why I rate this book  5 stars and name it possibly my favourite book I have read this year.

QUOTES  (is this not just the best writing ever??)

“I feel like I'm a snow globe and someone shook me up and now every little piece of me is falling back randomly and nothing is ending up where it used to be.”  

“Teen angst is so boring, isn't it? I try so hard not to be a cliche, but it's like written in my DNA to hate my parents and be totally unsatisfied with everything. I wonder if there's anyone our age who actually likes their life.”  

“What if talking about your feelings doesn't fix anything? What if what you really need is to make the feelings go away?”  

“Even though I'm sleeping again, everything still feels a little rickety, like I'm here but not quite here, like I'm just a stand-in for my real self, like someone could just reach over and pinch me and I'd deflate. I thought I was feeling better, but I don't know anymore.”  

“I said just let me try one more time and she said, "THAT'S ENOUGH, ISABEL," again, and she could just say it over and over and it would never get through my thick skull because I'm always wanting and wanting because nothing is ever enough you are never enough I am never enough I am never enough I AM NEVER ENOUGH.”  

“Maybe there's a galaxy with a planet that's just a little more tilted, with a sun that shines just a little bit darker, and that's where I'm supposed to be, where it somehow makes sense to feel this broken.”  

“I'd love to wrap myself inside your sadness and pretend it is mine.”  

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